My Vipassana is Over

WOW! I have just returned from my 10-day Vispassana Meditation and Silence Retreat in the Blue Mountains and tomorrow I’ll be in Bali for another 10 days of meditation and fasting. A short update to tell you: DO IT! It will change your life!

It was not easy, which is an understatement, and at times it felt like giving birth for 9 days. There are times of respite and great Vegetarian food, stunning bird life and kangaroos grazing peacefully just in front of you. But most of the time the pain of sitting cross-legged on a cushion and meditating (a total of 10 hours a day, starting at 4.30 am) by becoming aware of sensations in or on your body with total peace, calm and equanimity (my new favorite word, which I must have heard a million times in the evening discourses, the only time you hear a voice) is excruciatingly painful. Equanimity or being equanimous  means that your mind is totally balanced, neither avoiding pain nor seeking pleasure.  Equanimity is one of the most sublime emotions of Buddhist practice.

For three of the ten nights I could hardly sleep at all; my mind felt like being wired, the body like being buried alive. In those times of meditation I have also become painfully aware of the mind chatter and how over-active my thinking is! In times of movement (short bush walks), it calmed down, but as soon as I was immobile, it started torturing me with really irrelevant thoughts. Firstly past experiences, movies I had seen or people from the past I hadn’t even thought of in years. Then future ideas, books I want to write or courses I want to run came uninvited and with unwelcome frequency into my mind next.

One of my biggest break-through moments came on Day 6, when I became aware of my obsession with cancer. The only visible sign of the lymphoma is the enlarged belly and spleen (the shape of a croissant on the left side of my abdomen) – and it had become an obsession of mine to trace its physical appearance, craving for its departure or at least reduction. Noticing this unhealthy pattern more and more, I have been able to completely let got of my attachment to that. Lovingly I can now observe with equanimity and joy.

Only towards the last couple of days, real progress started to creep in and it’s only now – back home in Sydney for one night – that I am enjoying a serenity, happiness and calm that I cannot describe or explain.

I have been the midwife, the one giving birth and also the baby: Now I am the baby starting to make this a real experience in my daily life.




Time out from Life and all devices


Guess what, I will soon find out how addicted I am or have been to my mobile phone. I’ll be off-line; mobile free, internet deprived, picture-less, facebook-void, non-blogging, electronically disconnected and of course unable to check emails, websites and all inquiries. Well, the last one will be taken care of by my lovely daughter, who is already stressing out about the new responsibilities of being my PA.


You are right, the Vipassana is starting next Wednesday (15 Feb) and followed by Bali, where I decided to continue on the same path of meditation and hopefully fasting, including from my mobile phone. I’ll be back on March 8, if I survive this ordeal – to tell you all about it and if you pass this test below, there is no need to follow my advice:


Healing yourself through Fasting

Last Tuesday I went to see Tyler Tolman and heard a very interesting talk about food, fasting and hopefully the end of cancer and many other diseases, including Diabetes Type 1 and 2, Crohn’s Disease, Lyme’s Disease, and many other autoimmune diseases that are getting quite wide-spread in our S.A.D (Standard Australian Diet) and in the first world especially.

The main points I got out for myself:

-Stop eating meat or eliminate the intake of animal proteins to 5 – 10 % (max). Anything over 10 % (average Australian diet – 20%)

-Try to avoid breakfast (except a juice or lemon-water) as the body wants to detox EARLY in the morning

Our body is full of ‘tubes’, one of them being the lymphatic system, which cleans out the body of toxins and plaque build-up, which becomes the fuel for cancer cells (acidic fermented sugars). A plant based diet is 10 times more effective to get rid of cancer cells.

-Eat 5-7 servings of Vegetables; walk 30-40 min and drink 8 glasses of water a day, breathe deeply, walk in early sunshine, stretch and have great relationships (instead of ‘relationshits’)

-Grapefruit and lemons clean out the lymphatic system

-Don’t use commercial deodorants (bad odor is a sign of the wrong diet) or bras with underwire

-Bounce on trampoline


  • Preparation is very important: to detox, have enemas, 4 days of colon cleanses, (or 7 days of raw food diet/juicing) getting rid of plaque makes a fast much more effective and comfortable
  • Do a juice fast before doing a water fast (much easier), at least 2-4 liters of Juice + 4 liters of water minimum
  • the first three days of Fasting isn’t even fasting, just getting rid of old ‘food-matter’
  • Optimal 4 fasts a year for 7 – 10 days (water fast if possible, otherwise at least juicing)
  • ‘Rejuvenesence’ that way should take 10 years off your biological age
  • Fasting effectively kills cancer cells, speeds up detoxification and rids the cells of toxic metabolic accumulates.
  • Do not fast over 21 days (for a water fast)…10 days is better
  • A grapefruit sized tumor in a cancer patient disappeared after a 10 day water fast
  • When fasting the body sheds step by step in the order of the original growth pattern
  • Fasting can get rid of tumors, cysts, abscesses, fatty deposits, cancer…
  • Fasting triggers STEM CELL regeneration
  • When you fast, the system tries to save energy and recycles old immune cells that are damaged and no longer needed
  • A 3-day fast can reset the entire immune system and the new stem cells can take the shape of any cell
  • You lose approx 1/2 kilogram each day when fasting